Quite a few New York Goths/Industrials have experimented with polyamory and formed large, interconnected relationships. Others are less interested in extended relationships; they want to skip the emotional part and concentrate on the sex.

Polyamory and group sex can become a way of experimenting with the boundaries of love, commitment, affection and desire. Open relationships, where lovers are free to seek other sexual partners and frequently do so, are not uncommon on the scene. Nor is it uncommon for three or more Goths to get together and retire to someone's apartment for an evening of fun and frolic. (Goth is about decadence... and what's more decadent than an orgy?)

In theory, this is all fantastic; in practice, more than a few hearts have been broken in the endless quest for the next big orgasm. Of late more than a few New York Goths have decided that monogamy is the default setting for a reason, and have settled down. Others continue the tradition of spreading the love around.

In the end, it's a personal decision, and you'll find that few people on the Gothic/Industrial scene will challenge that decision either way.

Commentary by Kevin Filan, Saturday, May 30, 1998.