Quite a few New York Goths/Industrials have experimented with
polyamory and formed large, interconnected relationships. Others are
less interested in extended relationships; they want to skip the emotional
part and concentrate on the sex.
Polyamory and group sex can become
a way of experimenting with the boundaries of love, commitment,
affection and desire. Open relationships, where lovers are free to
seek other sexual partners and frequently do so, are not uncommon on
the scene. Nor is it uncommon for three or more Goths to get together
and retire to someone's apartment for an evening of fun and frolic. (Goth
is about decadence... and what's more decadent than an orgy?)
In theory, this is all fantastic; in practice, more than a few hearts
have been broken in the endless quest for the next big orgasm. Of late
more than a few New York Goths have decided that monogamy is the
default setting for a reason, and have settled down. Others continue the
tradition of spreading the love around.
In the end, it's a personal
decision, and you'll find that few people on the Gothic/Industrial scene
will challenge that decision either way.
Commentary by Kevin Filan, Saturday, May 30, 1998.